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TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has one large panel, plus an tiny extra “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon. The panel shows five people – stand up comics – scattered across an abstract space. Each comedian is being picked out by a spotlight. All five of them have microphones, and all are speaking out, as if they’re talking to an audience. They speak in order from back to front (so each successive comedian is closer to the “camera” than the one before).
The first comedian is a man wearing a button-up shirt and dark jeans, and looks really angry.
FIRST COMEDIAN: If I can’t do rape jokes without getting hissed then comedy is dead! DEAD!
The second comedian is a man with a shaved head. He is wearing a black tee shirt and sitting on a stool, scowling.
SECOND COMEDIAN: Seinfeld won’t even do college campuses anymore. This is how life under Stalin felt!
The third comedian is older than the other comedians, with wide, frightened eyes. He’s wearing a vest and tie; his collar is unbuttoned and his tie is hanging down a bit, not flush against his neck. His tie has a floral pattern.
THIRD COMEDIAN: If I have to drop “women are irrational” and “Asians talk funny” from my set, all I’ll have left is “airline food” and “it’s too hard to program my VCR!”
The fourth comedian is a blonde woman wearing an open button-up sweater over a striped dress and black tights. She looks angry.
FOURTH COMEDIAN: Free speech means the world owes me a living without any $#%!ing criticism!
The fifth comedian has short-cropped hair, an annoyed expression, and a big sneer. He’s wearing a tee shirt with a logo on it (most of the logo, whatever it is – well, it’s a big exclamation mark – is blocked by word balloons). He’s speaking straight to the reader.
FIFTH COMEDIAN: Comedy is sacred and the work I do is important to society!
FIFTH COMEDIAN: Anyhow, lighten up! They’re just jokes and they don’t mean anything!
TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW BOTTOM OF STRIP
The fifth comedian is talking to Barry the cartoonist.
FIFTH COMEDIAN: At least I can still make fun of fatties without much pushback.
BARRY: We’re working on that.